I am still going at it! My cousin is a teacher, but its quite clear that her passion lies in nutrition and being a physical trainer. She is transitioning careers soon. My(our) uncle passed away recently and my cousin and I were “reunited” at the services. She is a tiny, beautiful thing, but so down to earth and easy to talk to. I talked with her about my weight gain and my struggles with my love for food, etc. She has so kindly offered to help me. We may live like 5 hours apart or more, but I am so grateful. She gives me my workouts by text and has given me some great ideas on nutrition. I am making healthier, more natural choices which makes it much easier to track my calories(although she swears I dont need to) to keep my cravings down. Its nothing short of amazing to me how much more control I have in my food choices when I am not eating sugary, fried, fatty foods. I used to live off the stuff. Its like I dont want to eat it because I dont want the cravings to come back!
As for my weight…I have no idea. I was up to 240. I had lost 12 lbs and had a hard time being excited about it because I am so far from where I want to be. I was down to 160 two years ago ish and felt great. So being down to 228 from 240 hardly seems exciting. Its like redoing all my hard work which is so frustrating. I didnt feel or look any different after that 12 lbs. So, I am trying something new. I am avoiding the scale somewhat. I want to know I am making good choices and hopefully soon feel/see the weight coming off. I know from my experience that with my body it will most likely take 20-30 lbs before I see a difference. Thats how I gain so easily too. It kinda sneaks up on me. Thats a lot of weight to gain or lose without changing clothes sizes. I think what I will do is weigh once a month. I will put my focus on my good choices and exercise and hope that I get the results I am looking for.
Exercise….yes, she has me doing some short yet intense workouts. She is a crossfit goer and knows what she is doing. They are tough workouts. I have had a stomach bug for a few days so I havent worked out. But before this I managed to run a mile on the dreadmill. I have had to work up to that mile. It wasnt pretty but I did it. I am excited but frustrated. I ran a half marathon…13 miles!!!!!! a year and a half ago!!! I want to get back there. I wish I hadnt let myself get back to this!
But I did. And so I keep trucking along at least knowing I CAN get there again. And I will. Last night I dreamed I was training (effortlessly bu the way) for the half marathon. It was a reminder how running didnt used to be the struggle it is right now. I cant wait to enjoy it again!
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