I am happy to say that I am feeling on track. I would get on track, then fall off, then I would get back on…only to fall off again. It was so frustrating and demeaning. I was hungry. Exercise seemed to feel soooo hard compared to when I was fit. Something just had to give. I knew I couldnt keep going at this rate or I would just continue to get bigger. But being so hungry and dreading exercise made it very difficult to get through a day successfully.
So after talking with my cousin who is becoming a personal trainer, she suggested that I eat more. Of course I was excited yet skeptical. She calculated the amount of calories that I would have to eat to sustain my weight and it was a huge number…like well over 2000 calories a day. Had I really been eating that many? Yup, no doubt 🙁 So anything less than that would allow me lose. How fast I lose is up to me(within healthy limits of course). The bigger the deficit the more I lose, the less of a deficit the less I lose. Basic concept of calories in/calories out.
So my new plan…is to allow myself 1800 calories a day. It feels so doable and sustainable in REAL LIFE. I was so used to cutting down dramatically to get the weight off. But with that comes hunger. 1000-1200 calories a day is just not for me. I like food. I dont like to feel deprived. So this higher calorie allowance combined with eating more protein to to stave off hunger seems to be working for me. I am tracking it all and I will do another post on how I am doing this soon. But, its working for me! My daughters birthday was this week. I ate cake. I had dinner/lunch out twice this week. I ordered and didnt feel deprived. Who knew a few hundred extra calories could make such a difference for me. The last I checked the scale it said 233. That was last week. I will get on again sometime this week. I am extremely confident which is a great feeling!
Sometimes I eat all 1800 calories, but most times I dont. But just knowing I can is just what I need. If I eat them all I will lose. If I dont…I will still lose. Yaaaaay! So often gaining and losing weight becomes mind games. And those of us who are obese know that the mind games often win and therefore its hard to lose the weight and or/keep it off. So knowing I can eat these calories eliminates a lot of those mind games. If I know I am going to have a special event (my daughters bday or a work lunch) I just prepare and calculate the extra (cake )calories into my day. Period. Not so bad when it doesnt take up half of your calories for the day right?
*Today I am thankful for: the response I have gotten after my “comeback”. I wasnt sure if I would get “shamed” when coming back after gaining the weight. Instead, I was welcomed and even praised by so many of you for doing so. Its great to know I am not alone in this journey.
*Today’s reason for losing weight: Running a half mile at this weight is awful. I cannot wait to get back to running a mile or more with less effort and with much more enjoyment! Its great to have been there though and to know it IS possible.
~Jennifer
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